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get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
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