And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
