It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.