Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."