im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.