I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Even my vagina gasped.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Randomize