I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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