White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize