You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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