my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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