I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
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Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
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I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize