Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Randomize