Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
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can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
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I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.