I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.