put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag