Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Randomize
