everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
