dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize