at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess