I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy