I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick