That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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