Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
We have started to decorate penises.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
