thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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