Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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