There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize