Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
