This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
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She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize