so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
