I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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