they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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