How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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