plz talk dirty to me
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
