Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"