I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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