lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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