I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
