I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
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