You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
