u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
oh god was she eating orange peels again
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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