Texts From Last Night

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  (626): View more from California

  and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.

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  (626): and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name. http://tfl.nu/n8x4
  Replies (13) Good night (2638) Bad night (596) Order T-Shirt
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.

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  (416): Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be. http://tfl.nu/wari
  Replies (5) Good night (539) Bad night (2764) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?

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  (847): So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college? http://tfl.nu/onzy
  Replies (37) Good night (5281) Bad night (787) Order T-Shirt
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.

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  (405): Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am. http://tfl.nu/ox2k
  Replies (13) Good night (592) Bad night (4137) Order T-Shirt
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  (650): View more from California

  you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"

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  (650): you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?" http://tfl.nu/9xhm
  Replies (4) Good night (2615) Bad night (964) Order T-Shirt
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.

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  (517): you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs. http://tfl.nu/b4sz
  Replies (13) Good night (4525) Bad night (1044) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did

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  (207): her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did http://tfl.nu/hfoj
  Replies (21) Good night (5135) Bad night (1949) Order T-Shirt
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...

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  (765): did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me... http://tfl.nu/7ye0
  Replies (7) Good night (915) Bad night (2340) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?

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  (919): Have you ever tried running while drinking 151? http://tfl.nu/mfna
  Replies (4) Good night (2052) Bad night (1200) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.

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  (304): Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me. http://tfl.nu/4mjy
  Replies (14) Good night (3001) Bad night (981) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I am going to be fat forever.

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  (970): I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer. (970): I am going to be fat forever. http://tfl.nu/3hpn
  Replies (15) Good night (1328) Bad night (3048)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much

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  (516): I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much http://tfl.nu/71lk
  Replies (1) Good night (1117) Bad night (498) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."

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  (303): I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions." http://tfl.nu/0cl8
  Replies (2) Good night (716) Bad night (333) Order T-Shirt
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip

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  (319): I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip http://tfl.nu/igio
  Replies (3) Good night (709) Bad night (197) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.

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  (651): Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz. http://tfl.nu/u6wd
  Replies (6) Good night (1158) Bad night (191)

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