no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"