I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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