Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
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i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
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The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?