Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
