Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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