i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize