So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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