are you still at the devil's house?
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."