so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?