All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
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Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
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So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.