I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
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dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
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CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
How does one acquire holy water?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."