He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?