apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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