my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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