peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize