shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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