I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
