I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Randomize
