Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
