I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
