I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize