So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
